Lake Placid (1999)

Director: Steve Miner

You'll never know what bit you

Writer: David E. Kelley

Starring: Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt

The best character by far is Mrs. Delores Bickerman (played by the lovely Betty White) as the little old woman who feeds the crocodiles that ate her husband whilst he was trying to save one of their cows. This film is actually about Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda and Oliver Platt attempting to capture a massive crocodile that is living in a quiet American lake. They catch the crocodile in the end (by trapping it in a helicopter!?) only to find that there is a little crocodile. Que one of Delores Bickerman’s brilliant thoughts “she didn’t tell us about the smaller one incase we killed it” – in fact they blew it’s head of…literally.

Though the acting is stange in places, the writing soon makes up for it and the best thing about this film is the comedy.

BEST QUOTE

Mrs. Bickerman: I’m rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. You might want to arrest me for that too. Is that a crime? To wish the chewing of law enforcement?

7/10

Nancy Botwin from “Weeds”

When I see Mary-Louise Parker’s portrayal of drug dealing soccor mom Nancy Botwin, the first thing which pops into my head is a drunk Bambi. In the first season, her wide-eyed foray into the world of weed dealing was cute. Now, I have a nearly irrestiable urge to put her out of her misery. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the show when it started but over the last few seasons, Nancy just seemed to get into more and more bizarrely dangerous situations (that she got her sons involved with). Where are social services? I don’t think Nancy is a bad mom, but she is bordering on insantity.

Mary-Louise Parker’s bewildered portrayal is now wearing thin with me.

The Proposal (2009)

Director: Anne Fletcher

Here comes the bribe...

Writer: Pete Chiarelli

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds

I think the best way to sum up the film is that I keep forgetting that I actually saw it. It was a romantic comedy which both Reynolds and Bullock could do in their sleep. It was a fairly entertaining film at the time but I quickly forgot it.

BEST QUOTE

Grandma Annie: Do you prefer Margaret or “Satan’s Mistress”?

5/10

Mysterious Skin (2004)

Director: Gregg Araki

Two Boys. One can't remember. The other can't forget

Writer: Gregg Araki (screenplay) Scott Heim (novel)

Starring: Brady Corbet, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michelle Trachtenberg

This was on late one night and Joseph Gordon-Levitt originally drew me to the film. It is an amazing piece and shows the effects of child abuse. Neil (Gordon-Levitt) and Brian (Corbet) are abused by their little league coach when their quite young. The film follows the different paths the boys take; Brian doesn’t remember the abuse and becomes obessed by aliens as a way of explaining the gaps in his memories. Neil is tormnented by the memories and becomes a male prostitute. In the end, the Brian seeks Neil out and they share a tear-jerking reunion in the house they were abused in. It is a thought provoking film.

BEST QUOTE

Neil: I hate it when they look like Tarzan but sound like Jane.

10/10

The Night Listener (2006)

Director: Patrick Stettner

Listen for the truth

Writer: Armistead Maupin and Terry Anderson

Starring: Robin Williams, Toni Collette, Rory Culkin

This is film is a little bit creepy. Based on a novel which is based on a real experience by author Armistead Maupin, the film follows a writer’s telephone conversation with, what he believes, to be a 14 year old boy. All the actor’s are superb as Gabriel’s (Williams) connection to incestuasly abused AIDS suffers Pete (Culkin) becomes more and more creepy. Does Pete really exist or is Gabriel being pulled into his foster mom’s (Collette) fantasy. As I said, this was originally based on a real-life phone relationship between author Maupin and a boy who would now be 31 years old. This is definately worth a watch as the subject is still around in internet form.

BEST QUOTE

Gabriel: As for Pete, there’s a line in the Velveteen Rabbit that reads… Real isn’t how you were made. It’s the thing that happens to you. I’m Gabriel Noone. Goodnight.

8/10

P.S. I Love You (2007)

Director: Richard LaGravenese

Sometimes there's only one thing left to say

Writer: Richard LaGravenese and Steven Rogers (screenplay), Cecelia Ahern (novel)

Starring: Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Lisa Kudrow

It made me cry. I knew that he was gonna die but when they were at the funeral (which took me a bit by surprise), I cried whilst hugging my pillow. I don’t usually cry at films but after a recent (well, 5 years ago now) loss in my family, films were people lose their future forever make my cry uncontrollable. It’s a touching story about a widow who’s husband guides her through life with 10 messages written before he died. According to my brother’s girlfriend the novel is better but as a stand alone film it is heartwarming, approriatly funny at times and perfect with a bottle of wine. The only problem with it is Harry Connick Jr.

BEST QUOTE

William: There’s no man, alive or dead, who’s going to fault you for living.

7/10

Twilight (2008)

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

When you can live forever what do you live for?

Writer: Melissa Rosenberg (script), Stephenie Meyers (novel)

Starring: Robert Pattison, Kirsten Stewart, Billy Burke

The thing that is genuinely odd about the film (and the books) is that nothing really happens until the end and then (in each book) it’s something that Bella causes and the vampires & werewolves fix. She’s not a strong main character at all but randomly the film and books work. For the 1st 30 mins of the film, the actors appears very awkward together. Though this is probably a decison made on purpose because Bella is awkward by nature and her relationship with Edward is very halted. However, on screen this is a little bit grating and it wasn’t until when Edward takes Bella home to meet his family that I really started to get into the film. After that point, it was fairy engaging and the action scene at the end is magnificent.

The ending credits where also wonderfully done.

BEST QUOTE

Bella: You know, your mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash.

8/10

Wild Child (2008)

New Girl. New School. New Rules

Director: Nick Moore

Writer: Lucy Dahl

Starring: Emma Roberts, Natasha Richardson, Alex Pettyfer

It was refreshing to see the American acting like a twat and the British people all (reasonably) sensible and I couldn’t help laughing at Poppy Moore’s (the interesting new talent Emma Roberts) hand sanitizer moments. It was a parody of the Miami It-Girl and to a certain extent, another parody of British boarding schools. I never went to one but I can’t believe they’re all as random as this. It’s a teen movie and not particular adult deep (the main character goes from a spoilt brat to an English rose) but it’s worth a watch if your a rom-com sorta teen.

BEST QUOTE

Mrs Kingsley: Whose there?

Poppy: Jesus Christ!

Mrs Kingsley: Oh, we were always led to believe you had a beard and sandals. Now we’ll have to change the stained glass window in our chapel.

7/10

Rest In Peace

Rest In Peace

Natasha Richardson

1963-2009

www.imdb.com/name/nm0001670

Rest In Peace

Rest In Peace

Pablo Santos

1987-2006

www.imdb.com/name/nm1179675