The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Director: Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez

In October of 1994 three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while shooting a documentary...A year later their footage was found

Writer: Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez

Starring: Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, Michael C. Williams

I watched this movie at one cousin’s sleepover when I was about 12 or 13. It was dark, she had surround sound in her detatched house and it was as scary as fuck then. Now I know that is isn’t actually real footage and the people are really actors, it’s less scary and I can laugh through the film rather than hide in my sleeping bag. Being 10 years older also helps somewhat. The film is very effective. Even it’s tagline suggests it’s real footage of real students who went missing; “In October of 1994 three student filmmakers…blah blah blah. Once you take this away and you find out it was all faked, it’s just not that scary. It follows the mock-u-mentry genre of filmmaking but takes it a step further by blending it with the horror genre. The film industry thrives on these sorts of blending since it surprises the audience and creates more avenues for future films. Character wise, I really really really really wanted the witch to eat/kill/toture/silence Heather Donahue. She just complains which, whilst being a very natural thing to do normally, is just annoying for someone raised on American Hollywood gloss. The Blair Witch Project has more of an British low-budget style to it and encapulates student filmmaking styles.  Overall, scary the first time, amusing the second.

BEST QUOTE:

Michael: No redneck is this creative.

6/10

Murder By Numbers (2002)

Director: Barbet Schroeder

The only flaw in their plan was her

Writer: Tony Gayton

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ben Chaplin, Ryan Gosling, Michael Pitt

I absolutely adore this film. I’m a big Sandra Bullock fan and it’s lovely to see her in something that isn’t a comedy. Murder By Numbers is a mind-fuck of a film in which two bored teenagers attempt to commit the perfect murder. However, they don’t count on interference by homicide cop Cassie Mayweather and her partner Sam (nice to see Ben Chaplin again). Cassie (Bullock) was once nearly left for dead by her husband and therefore, is very serious about catching the killers. In Richard (Gosling) and Justin’s (Pitt) planning the perfect murder, they forget that planning itself can be a mistake and a set of inncoulous mistakes lead Cassie and Sam to them. The problem then is that Richard and Justin are so wrapped up in the ideals of freedom (i.e. commiting crimes and getting away with it) that they start to turn on each other and Cassie gets caught up in the middle. The film is, to a certain degree, badly plotted, messy and obvious in places but the interesting relationship between Cassie, Sam, Justin and Richard does a way to making up for it.

BEST QUOTE:

Richard: Please, that chick spreads like peanut butter.

7/10

Rest In Peace

Rest In Peace

Stephen Gately

1976-2009

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0309519

Lolita (1997)

Director: Adrian Lynne

A forbidden love. An unthinkable attraction. The ultimate price.

Writers: Stephen Schiff (script), Vladimir Nabokov (novel)

Starring: Jeremy Irons, Frank Langella, Dominque Swain

Okay, I’ve seen movies about child abuse before, namely Mysterious Skin (2004) and I recently read Karin Slaughter’s Kisscut. The difference between the latter two and Lolita is that Lolita romantisizes the love between Humbert and Lolita. This is odd. Normally, this behaviour is demonized, we see the abuse from the child’s point of view, how it messes them up. In Lolita, since it is from Humbert’s point of view, we are forced into seeing the abuse as a loving act…which is totally against my nature. I watched it till the end but will not be watching it again. I understand that a body double was used during the sex scenes between Humbert and Lolita but it is the subject matter and its portrayal of being “love” that I can’t get over. At least Humbert and Quilty die at the end which somewhat follows the idea that what they both did was wrong. However, though I hate to admit it, it was well written and acted.

BEST LINE

Humbert: What are you eating?

Lolita: It’s called a jawbreaker. It’s supposed to break your jaw. Want one?

6/10

Rest In Peace

Rest In Peace

Patrick Swayze

1952-2009

www.imdb.com/name/nm0000664

Push (2009)

Director: Paul McGuigan

One push can change everything

Writer: David Bourla

Starring: Chris Evans, Dakota Fanning, Djimon Hounsou

This film is to much like Jumper (2008) and unfortunately, it comes in last in the line of  ‘ordinary people with extra-ordinary abilities’. However, this is proabably one of the best. I liked the fact it was set in Hong Kong instead of America because it makes for a more interesting backdrop than once again seeing Americans chase each other around the streets of New York City. It was also a good film for Dakota Fanning as it now shows as an adult (her drunk was very entertaining). She can definitely hold her own amongst her older co-stars. This was evident in Hide & Seek as well.  On the whole, an entertaining film with enough twists and turns to keep you guessing.

BEST QUOTE:

Cassie Holmes: I think I just saved your life. No need to thank me, you should just start listening to me.

6/10

Adventureland (2009)

Director: Greg Mottola

It was the worst job they ever imagined... and the best time of their lives

Writer: Greg Mottola

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Jesse Eisenberg,  Ryan Reynolds

Okay, so I went to see this movie with my mate today (her choice, not mine) but I am so totally addicted now! I was wary since I didn’t particulary enjoy Kristen Stewart’s style of acting in Twilight but I thought the way she behaved in Adventureland was perfect especially when she said “I’m starting to hate myself” in relation to her relationship with Connell…which was just a little bit to creepy for me. She looks younger than she is and so it looked like Connell was dating a schoolgirl but at least the scenes appeared natural not forced. Did anyone else notice that James (Eisenberg) reacted real shocked when Em (Stewart) said “Fuck” the first time?? It was well written, it kept the noisy guys behind me entertained as well. My only issue was that Jesse Eisenberg really reminds me of one of my exes which is about distracting. On the whole, a funny film and Kristen Stewarts acting style suited it. Did y’all know she touched her hair 55 times (according to IMDB) during the movie…something she also did in Twilight. The last scene was my favourite (and not cause it was the ending) it was just so damn natural. GOOD FILM!!!!

BES TQUOTE:

James Brennan: I think somebody was trying to write “Satan Lives” on that wall but they spelled it “Satin Lives”.
Em Lewin: One of those textile worshiping cults no doubt.

9/10

Lake Placid (1999)

Director: Steve Miner

You'll never know what bit you

Writer: David E. Kelley

Starring: Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt

The best character by far is Mrs. Delores Bickerman (played by the lovely Betty White) as the little old woman who feeds the crocodiles that ate her husband whilst he was trying to save one of their cows. This film is actually about Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda and Oliver Platt attempting to capture a massive crocodile that is living in a quiet American lake. They catch the crocodile in the end (by trapping it in a helicopter!?) only to find that there is a little crocodile. Que one of Delores Bickerman’s brilliant thoughts “she didn’t tell us about the smaller one incase we killed it” – in fact they blew it’s head of…literally.

Though the acting is stange in places, the writing soon makes up for it and the best thing about this film is the comedy.

BEST QUOTE

Mrs. Bickerman: I’m rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. You might want to arrest me for that too. Is that a crime? To wish the chewing of law enforcement?

7/10

Nancy Botwin from “Weeds”

When I see Mary-Louise Parker’s portrayal of drug dealing soccor mom Nancy Botwin, the first thing which pops into my head is a drunk Bambi. In the first season, her wide-eyed foray into the world of weed dealing was cute. Now, I have a nearly irrestiable urge to put her out of her misery. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the show when it started but over the last few seasons, Nancy just seemed to get into more and more bizarrely dangerous situations (that she got her sons involved with). Where are social services? I don’t think Nancy is a bad mom, but she is bordering on insantity.

Mary-Louise Parker’s bewildered portrayal is now wearing thin with me.

The Proposal (2009)

Director: Anne Fletcher

Here comes the bribe...

Writer: Pete Chiarelli

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds

I think the best way to sum up the film is that I keep forgetting that I actually saw it. It was a romantic comedy which both Reynolds and Bullock could do in their sleep. It was a fairly entertaining film at the time but I quickly forgot it.

BEST QUOTE

Grandma Annie: Do you prefer Margaret or “Satan’s Mistress”?

5/10